Temptation in the Aftermath of a Breakup

There are several things that go through your mind in the aftermath of getting dumped. This probably happens to both sexes, but I can really only speak from the female perspective. There comes a point in life when you are so wrapped up in a person that you don't realize how much they mean to you until that person goes away. Then you realize with a fatal sort of tardiness that you are having an extremely hard time living without him. It's easy to say that you will be okay after getting dumped, but in the heartache of the moment, it is hard to find that strength and will inside yourself. Instead you feel like your hopes are dashed and that even though you've cried until you can't cry anymore, you ultimately do. During this time of extreme vulnerability, you may be tempted to reach out to him. Whether you are planning to get back together with him or not, do not give into this urge. Not while you are feeling open and extremely defenseless to your feelings for him. Here are some do's and don'ts for when you are dealing with a nasty break up.

How To Get Over A Nasty Break Up

First of all do not call him. You think you will be able to hold it together. You think you will be able to talk to him in a calm rational voice that doesn't sound in the least bit desperate. You think you can talk to him without begging him to take you back. If you are anything like me, you can't, don't try. A good thing to do at this stage in your grief is to get some sleep and obtain a rational mind. This, if you DO decide to call him, do it at a time when you are not so vulnerable.

Likewise, don't send the email you thought about sending. This is just as bad if not worse than calling. With an email, there is a constant and permanent reminder of what you wrote while you were aching and desperate. This will most likely stay in his possession and undoubtedly be distributed to all of his friends. This unfortunate email is NOT what you want to be known by from all of his friend. Words are hard enough to take back without them being recorded on hard copy. If you INSIST on writing an email, again, do it on a day that you are completely together and thinking clearly. Don't say anything you will regret later, because you never know when you might regret.

Resist The Temptation

The worst possible thing you could do out of everything I have mentioned is go to see him. This may creep him out even more than calling him in the middle of the night. You DEFINITELY don't want do be known for this by his friends. He probably would not hesitate in letting them in on this little visit. This is another time to just curl up and get some sleep. If you are going to confront him, wait until you are clear headed and have done some thinking about how everything is going to play out and what you are planning to say. This helps you to be more prepared when you do confront him. Whatever you do, don't do it in a crying vulnerable state.

Now that you've seen some of the don'ts of the getting dumped handbook, it's time for some do's. If you need to call someone for moral support, call your best friend. Let her be the shoulder you will cry on. For the most part, she is going to be able to support what you are going through because she has undoubtedly gone through the same thing. Not only can she be a shoulder to cry on, you can bounce all your ideas to contact the ex off her. Tell her what you plan to say to him, read her that email you plan to send. Get a second opinion that may help you to gain some insight on what you should do. A shoulder to cry on can be one of the most important assets you have after a rough break up.

Another do is to try to get some sleep. Get your mind off your worries by reading a book to fall asleep, watching some TV, taking a bubble bath, or doing all three. These suggestions can relax you, allowing you to get some much needed sleep. No matter what, know who you are and what worth you have. Someone dumping you does not mean you are not worth anything. Just know you will survive, no matter how bad you feel at the moment about getting dumped.